Deranged
by FoREVer Nightwing
Summary: Songfic for "Deranged" by Coheed and Cambria


**********A/N: Songfic for _Deranged_ by Coheed and Cambria from the Arkham City Soundtrack.**

******EDIT:**** As I checked my e-mail, one of my stories recieved a very nasty review about the use of lyrics in my stories. I had also recived a PM from someone else (who was far nicer about it) about the same issue. I am removing all lyrics from my works. If you have a problem with that, I'm very sorry.**

* * *

**Deranged**

Okay, I admit it.

There are times when I regret becoming Robin.

Now, that's mostly when Batman punishes me, or when I'm kidnapped by some lowlife.

But, other than that, I enjoy my job.

And, yes, I admit I'm a bit weird.

I don't get much sleep, and yet, as Alfred would put it, I'm a ray of sunshine.

I hang out in a batcave more than at an arcade.

I spend more time cracking codes than I do on my math homework.

And you know what?

I'm just fine with that.

Most people would say I'm a little out of my mind.

I suppose I am, seeing how I'm stuck fighting the criminally insane.

I swear, if insanity were a cold, then I may have caught it. Some people in Gotham do go crazy because of the number of nutcases runnin' around.

But that's the fun of it.

* * *

It was just another day in Gotham.

By that, I mean another freak show who should be in Arkham broke out.

This time, it was none other than Maxie Zeus.

You see, this guy has a bit of an issue. If someone manages to irritate him enough, or he forgets his medication, he suddenly thinks he's Zeus. Y'know, the God? From the Greek legends? Think Hercules, y'know, the Disney movie, if you don't know what I'm talking about.

We don't have much trouble outta Maxie.

We just give him his medication and he goes right back to doing… whatever he does…

What? You expect me to remember?

I'm not gonna keep track on someone we don't get much trouble out of… I'm too damn busy with other stuff!

Anyway, he was off pretending to be Zeus... and Batman decided to send the team to deal with him, since, y'know, he's not all that threatening.

* * *

"Really? Maxie Zeus? Is Bats kidding?" Wally asked.

"Batman doesn't kid." I said.

"So, what's the story with this Maxie Zeus guy?" Conner asked.

"He's a guy who happens to be a little too interested in Greek Mythology… ended up having a multiple personality disorder. Normally, he keeps it under control with medication, but every once in a while, Zeus tries to do… whatever he does… I don't usually keep track of him." I said.

"You keep track of every other criminal." Artemis said, "Why's this guy so different?"

"He doesn't give us much trouble." I said, "Plus, his crimes are kinda lame… lamer than ever Riddler's."

"Wow… that lame?" Wally asked.

"Yup… do you have any idea how long Bats had me studying Greek Mythology to take this guy down? Hours! Days, even! I swear, if I ever read another book about Hades or Athena or Hera, I'll shoot myself." I laughed, "It's a shame Kaldur wasn't Aqualad at the time… would've been helpful, y'know?"

"So, if Zeus is so lame, then why are we tracking him down?" Conner asked.

"Well, that's why." I said, "It's supposed to be an easy mission."

"What?" Wally said, "Easy missions are for weenies!"

"Then I guess we're weenies." I laughed.

* * *

Easy mission… riiiiiiight….

As soon as we left the bioship, I got this feeling that we were being watched.

'Course, I always feel like I'm being watched, but still.

I just wish I didn't ignore it.

Last time I listen to my brain over my gut…

So, that's why I'm chained to the wall with three of Zeus' "hellhounds" (actually, they're wolves on steroids) in the room along with my friends.

Above each of our heads was a silver plaque with the name of a Greek God.

Mine was Hades, the God of the Underworld.

Kaldur had Poseidon, God of the ocean.

M'gann had Aphrodite, the Goddess of beauty.

Conner had Aries, the God of war.

Wally had Apollo, God of archery and the sun.

And Artemis was Artemis, Goddess of archery and the moon.

"You six have betrayed me! For this, you will face the divine judgment of Zeus!" Maxie said.

"Really, Zeus? Really?" I asked, "This is the best you can do?"

"Pompous as always, aren't we, Hades?" Zeus chuckled.

"Pompous? You son of a- dammit, you better be lucky that I don't kill, you twisted-"

"Enough! Or shall I release the hellhounds?"

Silence.

"Good. If you behave yourselves, you may go back to being respected Gods and Goddesses." Zeus said.

The second he left, I took the opportunity to start picking the lock.

The "hellhounds" had fallen asleep, so I didn't worry about them going after me when I finished.

Once I was out of the chains, I began to work on Kaldur's.

We continued this until everyone was free.

"Maxie should know better than to leave the animals alone." I said, "Some have a tendency of falling asleep if bored."

"We need to go and stop Zeus." Kaldur said, "Since you said that he is not very threatening, I believe that one of us could take him on."

"Leave that to me." I said.

* * *

It was really easy to capture Zeus once we took out his guards.

All I needed was a bolo rope and a pair of handcuffs.

After Maxie was taken back to Arkham, we went to debrief Batman.

"We did not know we were being watched. Some of us did feel like we were…" all eyes turned to me, "But we ignored it."

"A minor setback." I said, "We still succeeded."

* * *

"What was the first thing I taught you, Dick?"

I sighed. "'To listen to your instincts.' I know, I didn't… but I always have that feeling, so I just-"

"You don't ignore something as important as instinct." Bruce said, "That's why you were captured by Zeus."

"I know, but-"

"No buts. You know damn well to listen to your instincts."

I sighed. No getting through to him now.

"The usual punishment. For the next month-"

"Yeah, yeah, clean the Batmobile, two coats of wax, the fate of Gotham depends on how shiny and clean it looks…"

Bruce smirked, which just made me even more annoyed.

* * *

Normally our missions don't go as smoothly as the last one did.

I mean, we've been hit with some pretty hard stuff.

Recon, taking on the Injustice League and the Light, anger management (mostly Superboy), keeping a cool head, facing our destinies (mostly me), et cetera.

So, compared to the other missions, this one went according to plan.

In this line of work, it's very rare. Like Batman getting drunk.

Actually, it's very rare for anything to go smoothly. For me, anyway.

The guys we put away in Arkham break out in about a week.

I can't speak in front of more than ten people without sounding like an idiot (performing's one thing, public speaking's another) or stuttering every other word, much less talk to a girl I like.

And then there's the whole thing that started it all… that night. When my parents were killed.

That night was supposed to be perfect… but, it wasn't.

Maybe it just has something to do with Gotham.

Of course, then I get to thinking about this.

If that night didn't happen, I wouldn't be Robin.

All the other teenaged superheroes wouldn't exist.

I wouldn't have met any of my friends, civilian and superhero.

Barbara, Wally, Kaldur, Roy, Artemis, M'gann, Conner, Zatanna…

I wouldn't know any of them.

I wouldn't be on a team.

I wouldn't be training to be on the same level as Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, or Green Lantern.

I wouldn't even be thinking this!

Instead, I'd be going around the world.

I'd still have my mom and dad, my aunt and cousin. My uncle wouldn't be crippled.

We'd be happy.

But you know what?

I wouldn't trade the life I have now for it.

I don't want to change a thing.

I'm happy.

Don't get me wrong, I loved my parents. I still do.

But I love my friends too.

And, I'll be honest… I don't know what life would be like without them, and I don't wanna know.

I know, I sound crazy.

If that does make me crazy, fine by me.

Life's no fun if you're not.

So, I'll just say it right now…

I'm deranged.

And I'm proud of it.


End file.
